Revealing Yourself in Marriage

January 4

Revealing Yourself in Marriage

The Lord gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly. He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel.

Psalm 103:6-7

What do you know about the art of self-revelation? It all began with God. God revealed himself to us through the prophets, the Scriptures, and supremely through Christ. As the verse above mentions, he revealed himself to the ancient Israelites through his actions. They saw him guiding them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land, and as they did, they learned about him. If God had not chosen self-revelation, we would not know him.

The same principle is true in marriage. Self-revelation enables us to get to know each other’s ideas, desires, frustrations, and joys. In a word, it is the road to intimacy. No self-revelation, no intimacy. So how do we learn the art of self-revelation?

You can begin by learning to speak for yourself. Communication experts often explain it as using “I” statements rather than “you” statements. For example, “I feel disappointed that you are not going with me to my mother’s birthday dinner” is very different from “You have disappointed me again by not going to my mother’s birthday dinner.” When you focus on your reaction, you reveal your own emotions. Focusing on the other person’s actions places blame. “You” statements encourage arguments. “I” statements encourage communication.

Father, help me to remember that revealing more of myself is the first step toward greater intimacy with the one I love. Thank you for revealing yourself to us, and please give me the courage to share myself with my spouse.