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Processing Anger

Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm. 
Psalm 37:8

When was the last time you experienced anger toward your spouse, and how did you handle it? In the next few days, I want to give you a five-step program for handling anger in a positive way.

The first step is admitting to yourself that you are angry. “That’s obvious,” you might reply. “Anyone would know that I am angry.” Perhaps, but the question is, areyou conscious of your anger? Anger comes on so suddenly that often you may be caught up in a verbal or physical response before you consciously acknowledge what is going on inside you.

The Scriptures never say that anger is wrong, but multiple passages talk about the importance of controlling anger. Psalm 37 speaks about avoiding rage and not losing your temper, which can harm others. When you realize you are angry, I suggest that you say these words out loud: “I am angry about this. Now what am I going to do?” You have placed the issue on the table, and you have distinguished the difference between what you are feeling—your anger—and the action you are going to take. You have set the stage for applying reason to your anger rather than simply being controlled by your emotions. This is the first step in processing anger positively.

Father, I get angry more than I like to admit. Please help me as I try to deal with it the right way. Guard me from losing my temper and hurting the one I love most.

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