The Bandjoun nomad

So it's been a while since I've had the chance to spend time with my mother. To be honest, it's not something that I grew up knowing and practicing. My parents never really took either my sister or I on individual dates to teach us about various life lessons. It's actually quite sad that most African families living in the cities have lost that sense of teaching their kids about principals of life that was valuable to them. I guess in the rural areas,  you learn that through hard work in the farm or fetching water in your head. Most African kids learn (most never do) those lessons in school or through peers. But what's really interesting when one spends time with their parents, is the realisation that they are just as vulnerable and weak as you are except they got really good at hiding it. It's a pity though, because only through showing that side of you,  do you really connect and understand your children.  But I'm glad and grateful that I get to spend time...

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So @kantue and I had such poor luck trying to get this #supermario fluffy with luck of a draw of ducks in a pond game. But persistance (and empty pocket) eventually landed the prize 🏆. #memoriestocherish #life2full #toddlerfun #lovemywife via Instagram http://ift.tt/2xAmqOp

As I was reading my bible (Colossians 1 to be precise) I came across an interesting list that made me think about how sincere and substantial my prayers were for others who are "Fighting the good fight": 1. Be thankful for their faith and changed lives (1:3). 2. Ask God to help them know his will (1:9). 3. Ask God to give them spiritual wisdom and understanding (1:9). 4. Ask God to help them live to honor and please him (1:10). 5. Ask God to give them more knowledge of himself (1:10). 6. Ask God to give them strength for endurance and patience (1:11). 7. Ask God to fill them with joy and thankfulness (1:11, 12). How many people in your life could be touched if you prayed in this way? Let me know if you have any more...

I think often times, I have fallen into the trap of reassuring that as long as I put in the hours of grinding sweat and tears, success will come as a consequence. But that hypothesis doesn't hold all to often if you were think of how many people work in plantations but their lives seemed to be getting worse in relative terms to the work of society.  It was quite clear that the hypothesis is either flawed or incomplete. I would like to think that success in not only a measure of how much work you put in but more so on WHAT you're working towards. Taking the example of the typical rice field worker in some village in Taiwan, if the primary thing is to work hard such that you can put food on the table for your family, then perhaps that's not good enough. But if the money, which buys the food for family is to bring about change in your life or in the life of your kids, then education or extramural skills will be the topic of discussion around the dinner table. Then of all the s...

The L ord  is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18 We may not talk about it much, but the fact is that Christians sometimes get angry with God when we feel that God has treated us unfairly. This often comes after a difficult event, such as a child being diagnosed with a serious disease or being born with a physical or mental abnormality. If this anger is not dealt with properly, it will cause marital discord. Why? We don’t feel comfortable expressing our anger to God, so we may express it to our spouse. Our spouse will feel trampled on when the situation was not his or her fault. As a result, our spouse will also become angry. Two angry people do not make for a good marriage. If you feel that God has been unfair to you, let me encourage you to take your anger directly to him. You need not feel ashamed of your emotions; you can freely express your heart to God. You will not upset him, and your anger will not catch him by surprise...

“O Lord,” I prayed, “have mercy on me. Heal me, for I have sinned against you.”Psalm 41:4 Do you know the five languages of apology? What I’m going to share could greatly improve your ability to apologize effectively. Apology language #1 is expressing regret . Examples are “I’m sorry” or “I feel badly about what I did.” Apology language #2 is accepting responsibility . “I was wrong” or “It was my fault.” Apology language #3 is making restitution . “What can I do to make it right?” Apology language #4 is genuinely repenting . “I don’t want to continue hurting you. I know that it is wrong, and I don’t want it to happen again.” Apology language #5 is requesting forgiveness . “Will you please forgive me?” or “I value our relationship, and I hope you will forgive me.” Out of these five, your spouse likely has a primary apology language. One of these is more important to him or her than the other four. To give a successful apology, you must learn to speak the apology language of your spous...

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. -  Proverbs 15:1 Do you know how to affirm your spouse even when you disagree? It's a big step in learning how to have meaningful conversations. Take this example: A wife has shared that she is hurt by something her husband has done, and he responds, "I appreciate your sharing your ideas and feelings with me. Now I can understand why you could feel so hurt. If I were in your shoes, I'm sure I would feel the same way. I want you to know that I love you very much, and it hurts me to see you upset. I appreciate your being open with me." This husband has learned the art of affirming his wife even though he may not agree with her perception. Of course, he has a perspective and will eventually share it, but first, he wants his wife to know that he understands what she is saying and can identify with her pain. He is not condemning her interpretation, nor is he telling her that she should not feel up...

Example of the filth in Yeoville (Google image) On Sunday morning (well this was decided on the Saturday night), I made the trip to our cult favourite "magwinya" (fat cakes) outlet in Yeoville and just the thought of going back there after a long time of absence, excited me. But to be fair I was excited and scared at the same time . The current state of affairs is such places like Yeoville, Hillbrow and the likes have been in the news for all sorts of reasons, has caused me to keep my "Rambo" badge on. Needless to say, arriving there and getting those fresh bundles of joy into my hands then getting more and MORE surprised that inflation has not caused the price to increase (R2 for a big one), added to my satisfaction in making the trip. As I was driving away, I couldn't help but feel saddened that as much as my situation from a broke student with no clear future had improved, it felt that the place had only regressed or even worse, stayed the same. ...

Song of Solomon 1:15 NIV How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. #memoriestocherish #life2full #marriage via Instagram http://ift.tt/2trzXYw

It is arguable that these days the role of the leader in many organizations is as much as anything about creating change and communicating its character and ramifications to those likely to be affected by it. The evidence is abundant. Look, for instance, at the much-discussed departure of David Moyes from Manchester United Football Club. As has been set out elsewhere , the communication issues were almost as important as the performance problems. On the other hand, much of the success at the UK retailer J Sainsbury enjoyed by soon-to-depart CEO Justin King has been attributed to his ability not just to steer through change but to communicate what he was doing – both inside and outside the business. Of course, there will be those that believe that natural leaders and communicators have been around for as long as there have been organizations for them to lead and people with which to communicate. But it is difficult to escape the notion that “the internet of things” appears to have...

Spiritual Intelligence  is one of the latest buzzwords in the leadership field. It is increasingly recognised that leaders not only need emotional intelligence but also spiritual intelligence. Depending on how we define spiritual leadership, it can be seen as a crucial component of authentic leadership necessary to cope with a dramatically changing world constantly threatened by toxic behaviour. In essence, spiritual intelligence is the quest for better understanding of two key foundation principles of authentic leadership: The inner self : The quest for self-knowledge is a crucial component of inner peace and confidence. Such inner peace is the foundation of authentic behaviour that is not corrupted by compliance with fears, doubts and the corrupted opinion of others. The inner self is a world of self-discovery where the age old question is asked: Who am I? It is the world of seeking after the divine heritage that beats in our souls. The inner self is where we find the c...

Recently I tweeted this quote by Billy Graham: “When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost!” I then added: “We CAN’T escape this truth: A country, organization almost always reflects the character of its leader, in some way!” The retweets were phenomenal! One can therefore assume leaders agree with this important statement. Lately we have discussed the types of questions leaders ask . Building on that we now throw out a couple of questions to prompt your thinking around this all important topic – does an organization, entity, team or country reflect the character of its leader? In our newsletter next week we will expand with specific and important views by a Leadership Platform panel that included Professor Theo Veldsman from the University of Johannesburg, Opinion leader and change maker Rich Simmonds, Advocate Dali Mpofu and Louis Groenewald. So we can ask ourselves further questions. For example: Does the EFF ...

To be sure everyone knows what they're responsible for, you need to assign one of these four roles to every employee in every project. Image credit: Hero Images | Getty Images Reader Resource Apply now to be an Entrepreneur 360™ company. Let us tell the world your success story. Get Started » The following excerpt is from Riaz Khadem and Linda Khadem’s book  Total Alignment . Buy it now from  Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble  |  IndieBound When determining accountability within your company, there are two groups that should be held responsible. First, process indicators should be pushed down to the lowest appropriate level. This gives the power to act to the right person, thus empowering all levels of employees. In many organizations, decisions are made at the wrong level, sometimes several levels removed from the person whose action can impact the indicator. This not only creates confusion but distracts teams from meeting their individual goals. ...

Some types of criticism are more valuable than others. Image credit: Shutterstock Danielle Harlan Founder and CEO of the Center for Advancing Leadership and Human Potential Reader Resource Apply now to be an Entrepreneur 360™ company. Let us tell the world your success story. Get Started » Whether you’re an aspiring leader or a seasoned senior executive, it’s unlikely that you’ve gotten this far without experiencing at least some (if not a whole lot of) criticism from people you know and work with. In over a decade of working with leaders and managers across a variety of organizations and roles, I’ve observed that one of the key factors that distinguishes the most successful leaders is their ability to identify and leverage high quality criticism to push their work forward -- and to tune out and even ignore the rest. Related: Tell It Like It Is: Radical Candor Is the Feedback Method Your Startup Needs Sounds good, right? But, how do you make it happen? The answer i...

Once you have a vision statement in place, find out how to choose the right indicators that will determine if you're meeting those goals on a daily basis. Image credit: Pinkypills | Getty Images The following excerpt is from Riaz Khadem and Linda Khadem’s book Total Alignment . Buy it now from  Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble  |  IndieBound To measure your company’s vision requires a deeper understanding of what the words that you use to define it really mean. You’ll need to dig a little deeper to make sure that everyone has the same understanding of each key phrase, so try to consult with key staff and reach a consensus about those meanings. Related:  Vision Statements: Why You Need One and How to Create One Next comes defining the right indicators that measure progress towards vision. Let’s look at one common vision statements as an example: “outstanding value to customers.” How can this statement be measured? How do you know when it’s achi...

Einstein once said, [the human being] experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of our consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. It's quite obvious that we don't always see our circle of influence in that manner. So one must really think about their place on this Earth. One can potentially walk down the road, see someone struggling or hurt yet have a preconceived idea of that person's demeanor or that person's threat and the feelings that go with it. So through that process one runs away from the obvious where the obvious being that a person is hurt and needs your help. Now we live in the country here in South Africa that encourages awarenes...

An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin. Proverbs 29:22 How do I keep from sinning when I am angry? That is the challenge given in Ephesians 4:26, which says, “Be angry, and do not sin” (nkjv). King Solomon echoes the same sentiment in Proverbs 29 when he reminds us that a hot temper can lead to many kinds of sin. We’ve all seen evidence of that, whether the sin is hurtful, cutting words; physical violence; or reckless behavior. There is a better way. Yesterday we looked at the first step for handling anger in a positive way: Consciously acknowledge to yourself that you are angry. Today we look at step two: Restrain your immediate response. Don’t jump to action; think. Most of us follow the patterns we learned in childhood, and those patterns tend to cluster around two extremes—verbal or physical venting on the one hand, or withdrawal and silence on the other. Both are destructive. How do you change these patterns? How do you restrain your immediat...

A huge number of employees don't trust their bosses, and it's not hard to figure out why. Kes Thygesen Guest Writer Communication skills are vital to any workplace, and it should be found at all levels. A 2016 LinkedIn survey found that, according to the 291 hiring managers surveyed, communication skills are the most in-demand soft skill. When employers say communication is a necessity, they better have managers and supervisors who can communicate. Unfortunately, higher-level employees often come up short. Significant results from an informal 2016 study by Comparably , reveal that communication is what leaders need to improve on the most. Let’s take a look at what bad communication looks like and how leaders can improve their skills: Using obscurity There’s no reason to keep employees in the dark, and yet it still happens. A  study from Leadership IQ found that fewer than half of employees know if they’re doing a good job. When employe...